Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
