just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
