omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
