Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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