drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is Oprah even human
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
