Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
please come you make the beer taste better
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
