You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
