Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
