your thong is hanging out like whoa
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
