Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
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I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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