i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
