U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
