Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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