You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
