The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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