Me. At least after what I've been through.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
