Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
