First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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