she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
