I hope mine doesn't look like that
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
