Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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