Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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