no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize