And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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