I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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