I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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