Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
