I am full of burrito and curiosity
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
