I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize