She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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