My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You don't make any sense
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