There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
