i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
