we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We need to rekindle our bromance
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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