you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
