I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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