Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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