Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
