We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
