i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize