yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
