Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
