I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
