idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
