I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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