Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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