I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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