idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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