dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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