margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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