So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
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You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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