So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dear god my vagina.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
