Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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