Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
