I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize