is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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