Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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