Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
