Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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