It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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