i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
