I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize