belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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