The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
