I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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