I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
